my hair is up and im ready to let it all out

i want to be okay and not just be okay for a little bit. for always and have what i want but give to others and affect other peoples thoughts on things that matter. im going to start writing it all down but maybe this is just regina's soulful voice getting to me. i can't trust people. not like i would like to. why cant everything just stop for a little. then i cant really think. im going to start writing it all down. in a suitable childish black composition book. why wont he text me back. why cant i be more likeable. why am i so gosh dang tall. expectations are getting too high. i just want to blog. and make money. and live a quiet life at the beach. and have cute dinner parties with my friends and family. maybe a cute little dog to take on walks. i want to marry the man of my dreams. but who am i kidding im not getting married im visible. thats how i feel. really. im not sensoring anything so be prepared. for now on there is no sensor. i want to get everything out. lets go to malibu! and take pretty pictures of people. eet eet eet. im getting tired of typing but not tired. why would he text me back. he wouldnt. im not better than the rest. im stradegy isnt working. im not kidding so there is no haha! no LOL! blue lip blue veins. this is just the beginning but im going to say goodbye now. fun forever young forever.